By Nomathemba Dzinotyiwei

“Culture is not what we write in policies. It’s what we tolerate, reward, and excuse—every single day.”

Toxic workplace cultures are rarely created in a single moment. They are constructed slowly and deliberately—through the systems we design, the people we promote, and the silences we keep. And once built, they are sustained by an insidious cycle of denial, deflection, and dysfunction that becomes so normalized, people forget that healing is even possible.

Let’s break it down.

🧲 Who We Recruit, Appoint, Promote, and Reward Sends a Message

Every recruitment decision is a signal.

Every appointment is a statement

Every promotion is significant

Every reward is a message to the organization:

“This is who we value. This is how you succeed here.”

When bullies are hired because they’re “tough operators,”

When toxic managers are promoted because they “get things done,”

When leaders who burn bridges are still rewarded because “they deliver results,” a message is sent:

Performance trumps character. Results matter more than people.

Over time, this reinforces a culture where: staff emulate destructive behaviors to be seen and survive. Vulnerable employees withdraw and self-silence. Trust evaporates—and with it, innovation, inclusion, and morale.

You don’t need to say you value aggression or manipulation. You just need to promote it.

🔇 The Silencing of Victims: Ignoring, Blaming, and Shaming

When employees report bullying or harassment, the response speaks volumes—not just to them, but to the entire organization.

Too often when confronted with reports of bullying, harassment or abuse, Leaders respond with statements like:

“It’s just a personality clash.”

“You need to toughen up.”

“You’re being emotional/dramatic/disruptive.”

Such statements constitute an abdication of responsibility by the leader. The expectation is that the victim must deal with the abuse on their own because the leader is not prepared to hold the toxic colleague or leader accountable for their unacceptable behaviour.

The victims are ignored, blamed, shamed, silenced, reassigned, excluded or subtly pressured to resign. This is not just a failure of HR. It is a moral failure of leadership because every time a survivor is dismissed, the people in the organisation learn:

“You are safer staying silent than speaking the truth.”

This fear is contagious. It spreads. It embeds. It becomes part of the culture.

🪞 The Gaslighting Language of “Shared Responsibility”

One of the most sophisticated tools for sustaining toxicity is the well-meaning but misused phrase:

“Everyone is responsible for the culture.”

It sounds empowering, but in practice, it often becomes a weapon to: diffuse accountability; minimise leadership’s role and blame staff for systemic failures

Yes, culture is co-created. But leadership sets the tone, sets the policies, and sets the boundaries.

When leaders say “we’re all responsible,” while continuing to protect bullies, punish whistleblowers, and ignore harm, it becomes institutional gaslighting.

🧨 When Bullies Are Protected and Victims Are Pushed Out

In many toxic cultures, those who cause harm are protected because they are seen as:

“Too valuable to lose” “High-performing” “Strategic”

Meanwhile, those who raise concerns are labelled as “negative,” “not aligned,” or “resistant to change” They are excluded from career opportunities and quietly pushed out through “performance management” or “restructuring”

This dynamic communicates something deadly:

“Bad behavior is rewarded. Integrity is punished.”

It’s how cultures become complicit. It’s how abuse becomes embedded. It’s how an organization becomes unwell.

🕊️ The Role of Leadership in Healing Culture

Culture is not changed by slogans. It is changed by modeling. Positive leadership role modeling includes:

Speaking up against bullying—especially when the person is powerful.

Listening to victims and protecting them without making them relive their trauma endlessly to be believed.

Holding senior people accountable—not just junior ones.

Promoting and rewarding kindness, humility, inclusion, and emotional intelligence.

It also means telling the truth when it’s uncomfortable.

Because if leadership won’t speak truth to power, no one else safely can.

🧭 Culture Is a Leadership Legacy

Every organization has a choice. It can reward cruelty and punish courage. Or it can model integrity and invite accountability. It can gaslight those who speak up. Or it can listen—really listen—and choose healing over hierarchy.

As leaders, the real question isn’t “what’s our culture?”

It’s: What behaviour are we reinforcing—every single day?

Because culture isn’t what’s written in a vision statement. It’s what happens in the meeting after the meeting. It’s how people feel when they speak up—or when they’re harmed. And if we want to build workplaces that honour the dignity of all, we must be willing to confront the dysfunction we’ve allowed to grow.

✍🏽 Final Reflection

What you tolerate becomes your culture.

What you excuse becomes your message.

And what you protect becomes your legacy.

Let’s build organisational cultures worthy of the people who dare to care, because caring for employees translates to business growth and customer retention. And because no organisation that can survive when employees stop caring.